Monday, February 13, 2006

It takes a village - open letter to friends

Kyle and I recently went on vacation and had a lot of time to think, observe other families and discuss our priorities. We have come to the following conclusions:

1) Our spanish speaking friends will be required to share their native language with baby X. It is completely unfair to raise a child that is unable to communicate while in Mexico. (Case in point I almost got thrown out of the local farmacia while on a quest for lube.... Would you be offended if I asked you for "manteca de sex"? We were not asked to leave but from the looks on their faces we decided to go......)

2) Dancers - whenever Baby X spends time with you, you must dance with it. Once again it is completely unfair to raise a child with no rhythm. (Case in point - this is a sad story, there was a little boy about 12 years old at Carlos and Charlies with his parents. Whenever the music came on he would grin from ear to ear, jump out of his seat and start clapping. Alas - he could not get the clap to beat ratio correct... This is difficult for me to talk about since you all know that I myself am rhythmically challenged. All I can ask is that those of you with rhythm save our child from certain dorkdom!

3) Clothing is another important issue. In the event that for some reason Kyle and I lose our minds and become fashion challenged (I dont see this happening but weird things seem to happen when you become parents...) I expect all fasionable friends to step in USE EXCESSIVE FORCE IF NECESSARY! (Case in point - same poor uncoordinated child in point #2, his mom had him dressed in shorts that were 2 sizes to small. The pockets on the back were half the size of each butt cheek and rode up at belly button level)
What I'm saying here is.... This baby is gonna need all of us!